“Its must be jelly honey, cause jam don’t shake like that”.

…words from my grandmother, Venita. Elderly people are fucking great, they are able to explain things in such ways that make you pull your mental e-brake. My grandparents are really great in that way. I wish i could remember all the things they say that make me laugh because i could write a motivational book based on wise musings of southern rooted creole’s. That would make me some money. definitely.

Earlier this week I was on the freeway and the hood of my car flew up into my windshield. I was going 75mph (about 120kph). If you want an adrenaline rush i would suggest something a little less surprising like a pocket knife fight with a transvestite in a gay bar, paint ball, blowing bubbles with your tongue, skydiving or betting on greyhounds using eenie menie miney moe. The hood directly into your face is something completely unexpected and was about as loud as a shotgun blast to a blind person. Never again. As you may have guessed i pulled my car over and had to figure out a “safe” way of tying the hood down so that i can get off of the freeway and make it home safely. with no rope or anything i took my shoelace off of my orange chucks and cinched it down with eagle scout-like precision and independence. Fearing that the heat from my nearby radiator would sizzle away at the aged string, i cut the windshield wiper cable away from its attachment and made a double square knot much like this one http://www.uspowerboating.com/images-knots/reef_knot.jpg .  

then i began my exit of the freeway. Which was more terrifying that being blinded at high speeds. I felt like a fat person in a marathon. I couldn’t go fast because my gerryrigged hood would fly off again and the LAST thing i wanted was to be in the middle of the freeway going slow as shit with no visibility.  Somehow i passed a freeway interchange and cut off toward the exit with the help of a benevolent big rigger.

I was alive.

here are some images from the olden days,

Kodachrome 64

Provia 400F

Provia 100

?

ahh, here is when my camera was broken, maybe i should have kept it and just got another proper working camera, some of these double and triple exposures are fun. Sorry i dont remember the film stocks

have a good one, and remember to respect the hood of your car.

-J